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1.英默文幽
老虎来了
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.
One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"
His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
两个男人正在穿过丛林,突然,一只老虎出现在远处,向他们冲来。
其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋,开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说,“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?”
他的朋友回答道:“我不用跑得过它,我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
2.
Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out,and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that
he comes out and asks for another ticket.But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so
many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a
BIG woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
汤姆是个小孩,
他才7岁。
当他去电影院的时候。
那时他第一次去。
他买了张
票进去了。
但没过两三分钟他就出来了,
然后买了第二张票7a64e4b893e5b19e361又进去了。
几分钟
后他又出来买了第三张票。
接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。
一个女的问她,
“你为什么要买那么多票啊? 你见到了几个朋友?"
"没有,
我里面没朋友,
但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了"
The Rabbit and The Wolf’
One day a rabbit was walking near the hill. He heard someone crying,‘Help! Help!’It was a wolf. A big stone was on the wolfs back. He cried, "Mr. Rabbit, take this big stone from my back, or I will die."
The Rabbit moved the stone from the wolfs back. Then the wolf jumped and caught the rabbit.
“If you kill me, I will never help you again.” Cried the rabbit . “Ha,ha!You will not live, because I will kill you." said the wolf.
‘I helped you. How can you kill me? It’s unfair. You ask Mrs. Duck. She will say that you are wrong." said the rabbit. “I will ask her,” said the wolf.
So they went to ask Mrs. Duck. The duck listened to their story and said,” What stone? I must see it. Then I can know who is right. “So the wolf and the rabbit and the duck went to see the stone.
"Now, put the stone back," said Mrs. Duck. So they put the stone back. Now the big stone is on the wolf’s back again.
That’s all for my story. Thanks for listening.
兔子和狼
一天,兔子先生正在山坡附近遛哒,他听到有人在呼救:“救命呀!救命呀!”他这边瞧瞧,那边望望,他发现了可怜的狼先生,一块大石头掉下来压在狼先生的背上,他起不来了。他喊道:“兔先生,把这块大石头从我背上搬开,要不然我会死的。”兔子好不容易把大石头从狼背上搬开,这时,狼跳起来,把兔子叼在嘴里。“如果你吃了我,”兔子叫喊着,“只要我还活着,我再也不帮你的忙了。” “你不会活了,”狼说,“因为我要吃了你了。” “好人是不会杀救过他命的恩人的,”兔子说,“这很不公平,你去问鸭子夫人,她很胖,她样样事情都通晓,她一定会说没有一个好人会干出这种事情来。” “我去问她”,于是,狼和兔子到了鸭子家。狼说:“当兔子先生在山坡附近坐下时,我抓住了他,因此,我要吃掉他。现在你来谈谈你是怎样想的吧。” “我从他的背上搬开好大的一块石头,”兔子说,“因此,我说他不应该吃掉我,因为我救了他。现在你说说你的看法吧。” “什么石头?”鸭子夫人问。“山附近一块石头,”兔子说。“我必须去看看,”鸭子说,“如果我连那块石头也没有看见,那我怎么说得出我的看法?”于是,狼、兔子和鸭子一起去看那块石头。现在你知道结果是什么了。
The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
老猫
一位老妇有只猫,这只猫很老,它跑不快了,也咬不了东西,因为它年纪太大了。一天,老猫发现一只老鼠,它跳过去抓这只老鼠,然而,它咬不住这只老鼠。因此,老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了,因为老猫咬不了它。
于是,老妇很生气,因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫,猫说:“不要打你的老仆人,我已经为你服务了很多年,而且还愿意为你效劳,但是,我实在太老了,对年纪大的不要这么无情,要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."
He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去,当他沿着路走时,在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果,他说:“我不打算吃那些苹果,因为富人会给我更多的食物,他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果,一把扔到土里去。
他继续走,来到河边,河涨水了,因此,他到不了河对岸,他等了一会儿,然后他说:“今天我去不了富人家了,因为我不能渡过河。”
他开始回家,那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的,他找到苹果,很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。
不要把好东西扔掉,换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse
Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前,有两只老鼠,它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村,另一只住在城里。很多年以后,乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠,它说:“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是,城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说:“这东西不好吃,你的家也不好,你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住,你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子,还会吃上美味佳肴,你应该到我城里的家看看。”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮,好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是e68a847a686964616f362正当他们要开始吃的时候,听见很大的一阵响声,城里的老鼠叫喊起来:“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
过了一会儿,他们出来了。当他们出来时,乡下老鼠说:“我不喜欢住在城里,我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在,比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说,要好些。”
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”