返回目录：故事分享
10条冷笑话，就几句话， 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." 跟你的米酥（一种零食）讲话，然后突然！表现出你被冒犯的样子，把装米酥的碗摔在地上、并一脚踹上去。跟你的室友说你不会打扫，并解释：“我就是要看他们被折磨的样子！” 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 每次你室友回来的时候都大声欢呼：“哇！你回来啦！！”然后围着他跳舞跳上五分钟，接着就一直看表，问他：“你是不是该出去一趟啊？” 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 做个三明治，不要吃、把它丢在e5a48de588b6e799bee5baa6338地板上。然后就无视那块三明治、直到你室友受不了把它给扔了。这时候你就可以大声喊饿，问：“我那该死的三明治哪儿去了！？” 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 趁你室友外出的时候，把你的鞋子沾在天花板上，等他回来的一瞬间坐在地板上，摸着头大叫痛。 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 对你室友说：“我有个重要的消息要告诉你！”然后装晕倒。接着等你醒过来的时候就跟他说你忘记是什么消息了。等一会，又说“哦！我记起来了！”然后继续装晕倒。这样持续玩上个几星期。 6) Collect hundreds of pens andpile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 买一大堆笔回来，在房间的一边排列好。然后只把其中一支放在房间的另一边，对着它大笑。 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...." 买一些刀回来，每天晚上磨，边磨边看着你的室友小声嘟哝：“快了、就快了……” 8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!" 在你的鼻子上画一条细线，每天加粗一点，然后对着你的室友喊：“看！它在生长！在生长！” 9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern. 把房间里所有东西都移到墙边，一边很认真地盯着地板看，一边问你室友：你觉得一头大象能有多重呢？ 10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong." 收集一堆土豆、给它们分别画上脸、取名字。然后把那个以你室友命名的和其他土豆分开。几天后把它烤来吃了，跟你的室友解释说：“它就是跟大家合不来嘛……” 文章来源 http:///waiyu/yiwen/other/200910/218282.html 转载请注明出处
Little Robert
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday？"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents
more. But why are you so interested in the old woman？"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯百特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他度回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你内为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是容个卖糖果的。”
狼和羊
A wolf had been badly wounded by dogs. He lay sick and maimed in his lair.He felt very hungry and thirsty. When a sheep passed by, he asked him to fetch some water from the stream."If you bring me the water," he said, "I will find means to get some food.""Yes," said the sheep, "if I bring you the water, you would undoubtedly make me your food."
狼被狗所咬，伤势很严重，痛苦地躺在巢穴里，不能百外出觅食。 他感到又饿又渴，度这时，他看见一只羊，便请求他到附知近的小河里为他取一点水来。“你给我一点水解渴”，他说，“我就能自己去寻找食物了。”“是道呀”，羊回答说，“如果我给你送水喝，那么我就会成为你回的食物。” 寓意: 谎言是经不起推敲的，它答很容易被人们识破。
1、Little Robert
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday？""I gave it to a poor old woman,"
he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents
more. But why are you so interested in the old woman？""She is the one who sells the candy."
译文：好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。e68a84e8a2ade799bee5baa6332 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”
2、One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.
When I finally entered the house, I called out.'The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.'
My husband looked up and said, 'Mom's here?'
译文：一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。
当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”
3、Today I'm very happy,after I have breakfast,I go to park.It's a sunny day ,the bird is singing,I'm singing too.
hen I get to park,I see some girls are playing games ,so I join them.We play very happy.
Then I have lunch with my friends.We both have a good time.what's a happy day!
原文翻译：今天我非常愉快，在我吃早餐之后，我去公园。它是晴天，鸟正唱歌，我也开始唱歌。然后，我到了公园。我看见一些女孩正做游戏，我也参加了。我们玩得很高兴。
我们一起吃午餐。我们过了美好的时光.这是一个快乐的一天。
4、Our Tails 译：我们的尾巴
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours.
then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question
if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
译：教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？
"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long."
译：“我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”
5、“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy'stooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
译文：
“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”