返回目录：故事分享
One day,a little monkey is playing by the well.
一天，有只小猴子e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e58685e5aeb9332在井边玩儿。
He looks in the well and shouts :
它往井里一瞧，高喊道：
“Oh!My god!The moon has fallen into the well!”
“噢！我的天！月亮掉到井里头啦！”
An older monkeys runs over, takes a look,and says,
一只大猴子跑来一看，说，
“Goodness me!The moon is really in the water!”
“糟啦！月亮掉在井里头啦！”
And olderly monkey comes over.
老猴子也跑过来。
He is very surprised as well and cries out:
他也非常惊奇，喊道：
“The moon is in the well.”
“糟了，月亮掉在井里头了！”
A group of monkeys run over to the well .
一群猴子跑到井边来，
They look at the moon in the well and shout:
他们看到井里的月亮，喊道：
“The moon did fall into the well!Come on!Let’get it out!”
“月亮掉在井里头啦！快来！让我们把它捞起来！”
Then,the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down ,with his feet on the branch .
然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上，
And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands.
拉住大猴子的脚，
All the other monkeys follow his suit,
其他的猴子一个个跟着，
And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.
它们一只连着一只直到井里。
Just before they reach the moon,the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky,
正好他们摸到月亮的时候，老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢
He yells excitedly “Don’t be so foolish!The moon is still in the sky!”
它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了！月亮还好好地挂在天上呢！”
Endearing terms
英语幽默故事:可爱的称呼
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for
dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by
endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after
all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your
wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the
truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”
2、 老虎来了
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All
of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One
of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put
them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think
you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I
don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。e799bee5baa6e79fa5e98193e58685e5aeb9338另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗？” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
3、Lady First
女士优先
teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence '
The ox and the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children
said: "Yes, it is all right!" And only one little boy said: "No, it is
not correct. The lady must be mentioned first."
一位老师问班上的学生：”公牛和母牛在田里“这个句子对吗？” 大多数学生回答说：“对，一点不错。” 只有一个小男孩说：“不对，应该先说女士。”
希望能帮助到你，望采纳！
1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。
3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦，e79fa5e98193e4b893e5b19e364 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference ″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded.
″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
5、A physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?
Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
6、Jim’s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
扩展资料：
笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。
人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。
同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。
参考资料：百度百科：笑话
1.The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
【译文】 老猫
一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。
于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
2.The Raven and the Swan乌鸦和天鹅
A raven saw a swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.
乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
3.Belling the cat(系铃于猫)
Long ago, there was a big cat in the house. He caught many mice while they were stealing food.
One day the mice had a meeting to talk about the way to deal with their common enemy. Some said this, and some said that.
At last a young mouse got up, and said that he had a good idea.
"We could tie a bell around the neck of the cat. Then when he comes near, we can hear the sound of the bell, and run away."
Everyone approved of this proposal, but an old wise mouse got up and said, "That is all very well, but who will tie the bell to the cat?" The mice looked at each other, but nobody spoke.
从前，一所房子里面有一只大猫，他抓住了很多偷东西的老鼠。
一天，老鼠在一起开会商量如何对付他们共同的敌人。会上大7a64e78988e69d83332家各有各的主张，最后，一只小老鼠站出来说他有一个好主意。
“我们可以在猫的脖子上绑一个铃铛，那么如果他来到附近，我们听到铃声就可以马上逃跑。”
大家都赞同这个建议，这时一只聪明的老耗子站出来说：“这的确是个绝妙的主意，但是谁来给猫的脖子上绑铃铛呢？”老鼠们面面相觑，谁也没有说话。
4.The Goat and the Goatherd 山羊与牧羊人
A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock. He whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no attention to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone, and breaking its horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master. The Goat replied, "Why, you silly fellow, the horn will speak though I be silent."
Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid.
很多山羊被牧羊人赶到羊圈里。有一只山羊不知在吃什么好东西，单独落在后面。牧羊 人拿起一块石头扔了过去，正巧打断了山羊的一只角。牧羊人吓得请求山羊不要告诉主人， 山羊说：“即使我不说，又怎能隐瞒下去呢？我的角已断了，这是十分明显的事实。”
5.AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.
驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。
6.The Lion and the Mouse 狮子与报恩的老鼠
A LION was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up angrily, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: "If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness." The Lion laughed and let him go. It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth and set him free, exclaiming:
"You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favor; now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to con benefits on a Lion."
狮子睡着了，有只老鼠跳到了他身上。狮子猛然站起来，把他抓住，准备吃掉。老鼠请求饶命，并说如果保住性命，必将报恩，狮子轻蔑地笑了笑，便把他放走了。不久，狮子真的被老鼠救了性命。原来狮子被一个猎人抓获，并用绳索把他捆在一棵树上。老鼠听到了他 的哀嚎，走过去咬断绳索，放走了狮子，并说：
“你当时嘲笑我，不相信能得到我的报答， 现在可清楚了，老鼠也能报恩。” 这故事说明，时运交替变更，强者也会有需要弱者的时候。