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英语幽默故事演讲稿 要五分钟

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1.These Things Shall Never Die

这些美好不会消逝

The pure.the bright,the beautiful, 一切纯洁的,辉煌的,美丽的,

That stirred our hearts in youth, 强烈地震撼着我们年轻的心灵的,

The impulses to wordless prayer, 推动着我们做无言的祷告的,

The dreams of love and truth; 让我们梦想着爱与真理的;

The longing after something's lost, 在失去后为之感到珍惜的,

The spirit's yearning cry, 使灵魂深切地呼喊着的,

The striving after better hopes- 为了更美好的梦想而奋斗着的-

These things can never die. 这些美好不会消逝。

The timid hand stretched forth to aid 羞怯地伸出援助的手,

A brother in his need, 在你的弟兄需要的时候,

A kindly word in grief's dark hour 伤恸、困难的时候,一句亲切的话

That proves a friend indeed ; 就足以证明朋友的真心;

The plea for mercy softly breathed, 轻声地乞求怜悯,

When justice threatens nigh, 在审判临近的时候,

The sorrow of a contrite heart- 懊悔的心有一种伤感--

These things shall never die. 这些美好不会消逝。

Let nothing pass for every hand 在人间传递温情

Must find some work to do ; 尽你所能地去做;

Lose not a chance to waken love- 别错失去了唤醒爱的良机-----

Be firm,and just ,and true; 为人要坚定,正直,忠诚;

So shall a light that cannot fade 因此上方照耀着你的那道光芒

Beam on thee from on high. 就不会消失。

And angel voices say to thee---你将听到天使的声音在说-----

These things shall never die. 这些美好不会消逝

2.Let us give the most sincere wishes for our mother
1.As a child, the little boy very poor family, food, rice is often not enough to eat, his mother took the bowl of rice to the children to eat. Said the mother, children, eat fast, I hungry! - Scatter his mother's first lie
儿时,小男孩家很穷,吃饭时,饭常常不够吃,母亲就把自己碗里的饭分给孩子吃。母亲说,孩子们,快吃吧,我不饿!——母亲撒的第一个谎
2.Boy's body a long time, hard-working mothers used the time to rest Sunday in the rural county in rural areas, fishing some rivers to fish for children calcium supplements. Good to eat fish, fish soup is very fresh. The children eating fish, the mother is on the side eating fish bones, tongue licking the fish marinated meat on the bones. Feel bad boy, put his bowl of fish bowl folder to the mothers, mothers eating fish. Mothers do not eat, the mother also use chopsticks to fish folder back to the boy's bowl. Said the mother, child, eat fast, I do not like fish! - Scatter his mother's second lie
男孩长身体的时候,勤劳的母亲常用周日休息时间去县郊农村河沟里捞些鱼来给孩子们补钙。鱼很好吃,鱼汤也很鲜。孩子们吃鱼的时候,母亲就在一旁啃鱼骨头,用舌头舔鱼骨头上的肉渍。男孩心疼,就把自己碗里的鱼夹到母亲碗里,请母亲吃鱼。母亲不吃,母亲又用筷子把鱼夹回男孩的碗里。母亲说,孩子,快吃吧,我不爱吃鱼!——母亲撒的第二个谎
3.On the junior high school, for boys and Gejie enough to pay tuition fees when the mother went to work sewing collar neighborhood home to some matchbox, paste in the evening at the Zhengdian cents up at home. There is a winter, the boys wake up the middle of the night, also saw his mother bent over a lamp in the body under the matchbox paste. Said the boy, his mother, sleep it, you would also like to go to work tomorrow morning. Mother smiled, said the children, sleep fast, I do not storm! - Scatter his mother's third lie
上初中了,为了缴够男孩和哥姐的学费,当缝纫工的母亲就去居委会领些火柴盒拿回家来,晚上糊了挣点分分钱补点家用。有个冬天,男孩半夜醒来,看到母亲还躬着身子在油灯下糊火柴盒。男孩说,母亲,睡了吧,明早您还要上班呢。母亲笑笑,说,孩子,快睡吧,我不困!——母亲撒的第三个谎
4.The college entrance examination, the Qing Lejia mother every day to stand at the entrance test sites for the college entrance examination to attend the boy back. Every summer, the scorching sun head, stubborn mother is the next stop in the scorching sun for several hours. Examination of the end of the bell, and mother Ying Shangqu pass with a cup of canned good bottle of bubbles urged children to drink strong tea, tea is also strong, Gengnong situation. Looking at the mother of chapped lips and the sweat haired boys can be in the hands of anti-bottle delivery in the past invited the mother to drink. Said the mother, child, Drink soon, I Buke! - Spreading the mother of four lie
高考那年,母亲请了假天天站在考点门口为参加高考的男孩助阵。时逢盛夏,烈日当头,固执的母亲在烈日下一站就是几个小时。考试结束的铃声响了,母亲迎上去递过一杯用罐头瓶泡好的浓茶叮嘱孩子喝了,茶亦浓,情更浓。望着母亲干裂的嘴唇和满头的汗珠,男孩将手中的罐头瓶反递过去请母亲喝。母亲说,孩子,快喝吧,我不渴!——母亲撒的四个谎
5.After the death of his father, mother and mother when they Dangdie, relying on their own sewing in the agency that point, pull put up with all kinds of low income children, for their study, life miserable. Alley crossing under the wire rod repair of the table know that Uncle Lee, big and small issues on the fork to find a helping hand to fight back, moving to move coal, fetching water and pick, to send more Qianliang to help pay for the boy's home. Non-vegetation, ruthless Practice makes perfect. Neighbors saw this, in mind, tried to persuade mothers remarry, why should his suffering. But over the years but Shoushenruyu mother, never marry, others Zaiquan, categorically refuse to listen to mother, mother, I do not love! - Spreading the lie of the five
父亲病逝之后,母亲又当爹又当娘,靠着自己在缝纫社里那点微薄收入含辛茹苦拉扯着几个孩子,供他们念书,日子过得苦不堪言。胡同路口电线杆下修表的李叔叔知道后,大事小事就找岔过来打个帮手,搬搬煤,挑挑水,送些钱粮来帮补男孩的家里。人非草木,孰能无情。左邻右舍对此看在眼里,记在心里,都劝母亲再嫁,何必苦了自己。然而母亲多年来却守身如玉,始终不嫁,别人再劝,母亲也断然不听,母亲说,我不爱!——撒的五个谎
6.Ge Jie and her boys graduated from university to work, the mother of a post on the nearby farmers market stalls were put up to maintain life. I was away working children are often aware that after sending money back subsidies for mothers, mothers do not resolutely and will back the money back. The mother said, I have money! - Spreading the lie of the six
男孩和她的哥姐大学毕业参加工作后,下了岗的母亲就在附近农贸市场摆了个小摊维持生活。身在外地工作的孩子们知道后就常常寄钱回来补贴母亲,母亲坚决不要,并将钱退了回去。母亲说,我有钱!——撒的六个谎
7.Boys school to teach for two years after the United States to obtain a doctorate at the University of brand-name, to stay in the United States after graduating from a scientific research institutions, the treatment of a very rich, good condition, in a foreign mother wants to take the boys to enjoy the benefits Qing Fu has been turned down for the elderly. Said his mother, I am not used to! - Spreading the lie of the seven
男孩留校任教两年,后又考取了美国一所名牌大学的博士生,毕业后留在美国一家科研机构工作,待遇相当丰厚,条件好了,身在异国的男孩想把母亲接来享享清福却被老人回绝了。母亲说,我不习惯!——撒的七个谎
8.Old age, the mother is seriously ill and was admitted to the hospital, about a boy on the other side of the Atlantic by plane to come back, after the mother is on the verge of death had. Old mother, looked to be a very tough battle on the disease afflicted mother, the boy grief, and tears. Said the mother, children, do not cry, I hurt. - Caesar's last lie
晚年,母亲患了重病,住进了医院,远在大西洋彼岸的男孩乘飞机赶回来时,术后的母亲已是奄奄一息了。母亲老了,望着被病魔折磨得死去活来的母亲,男孩悲痛欲绝,潸然泪下。母亲却说,孩子,别哭,我不疼。——撒的最后一个谎

Let us give the most sincere wishes for our mother

3.Don’t work too hard
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more but enjoy less.

我们这个时代在历史上的说法就是我们拥有更高的建筑,但是有更暴e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e58685e5aeb9363的脾气;我们拥有更宽阔的高速公路,却有更狭隘的观点;我们花费得更多,拥有得却更少;我们购买得更多却享受得更少。

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

我们的房子越来越大,家庭却越来越小;便利越来越多,时间却越来越少;学位越来越多,感觉却越来越少;知识越来越多,观点却越来越少;专家越来越多,问题也越来越多;药物越来越多,健康却越来越少。

We drink too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

我们喝得太多,花钱大手大脚,笑得太少,开车太快,易怒,熬夜,赖床,书读得越来越少,电视看得越来越多,却很少向上帝祈祷。

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years.

我们常常夸夸其谈,却很少付出爱心,且常常心中充满了仇恨。我们学会了如何谋生,而不知如何生活。我们延长了生命的期限,而不是生活的期限。

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space; we’ve done larger things, but not better things.

我们登上了月球,并成功返回,却不能穿过街道去拜访新邻居。我们已经征服了太空,却征服不了自己的内心;我们的事业越做越大,但质量却没有提高。

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less.

我们清洁了空气,却污染了灵魂;我们分离了原子,却无法驱除我们的偏见;我们写得更多,学到的却更少;我们的计划更多,完成的却更少。

We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but, lower morals.

我们学会了奔跑,却忘记了如何等待;我们的收入越来越高,道德水平却越来越低。

We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.

我们制造了更多的计算机来存储更多的信息,制造了最多的副本,却减少了交流;我们开始渴望数量,但忽视了质量。

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but more broken homes.

这个时代有双收入,但也有了更高的离婚率;有更华丽的房屋,却有更多破碎的家庭。

These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. Where are we heading...?

这个时代有了快速旅游,免洗尿布,却抛弃了道德、一夜情、超重的身体,以及可以从快乐中走向静止和自杀的药物。我们将走向何方……?

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

如果我们明天就死掉,我们为之工作的公司可能会在一天内很轻易地找人代替我们的位置。但是当我们离开家人后,他们的余生将会在失落中度过。

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family an unwise investment indeed.

考虑一下吧,我们将自己的时间更多地投入到工作中,而放弃与家人在一起的时光,实在并非明智之举。

So what is the morale of the story?

那么这则故事的主旨是什么呢?

Don’t work too hard... and you know what’s the full word of family?

不要工作得太辛苦,你知道家的全称吗?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER, (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU.

家=爸爸妈妈,我爱你们

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们e79fa5e98193e58685e5aeb9364是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。

An Alarm Clock
A young man went to a mountain village for his holiday. One night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station.
Before going to bed, he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ Excuse me, sir. Will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? I'm going to take the five o'clock train tomorrow morning. ”
“ Oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ I am afraid I can't. I don't get up that early. ”
The young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ Do you have an alarm clock? That would help me. ”
“ Yes, here it is, young man. ”
The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man. But when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it.
“ Does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man.
“ Sure! Just shake it when it's time to get up, and it'll ring. ”
一只闹钟
一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里,他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。
上床睡之前,他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说:“对不起,先生,请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗?我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。”
“哦,很抱歉”,旅馆老板说,“恐怕不行,我不可能起那么早。”
年轻人正想回到房间去,又停住了问:“那你有闹钟吗?或许它能帮助我。”
“我有,给你,年轻人。”
年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟,谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后,发现似乎有毛病。
“它能准时闹吗?”他问老头儿。
“那当然!时间一到,你摇一摇,他就会响的。”
自己删减一下吧

I LOVE ENGLISH

Dear teacher and classmates:

I am very glad to make a speech here in this class again! This time, I\‘d like to talk something about English.

I love English. English language is now used everywhere in the world. It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. Learning English makes me confident and brings me great pleasure.

When I was seven, my mother sent me to an English school. At there, I played games and sang English songs with other children 。e79fa5e98193e78988e69d83361Then I discovered the beauty of the language, and began my colorful dream in the English world.

Everyday, I read English following the tapes. Sometimes, I watch English cartoons. On the weekend, I often go to the English corner. By talking with different people there, I have made more and more friends as well as improved my oral English.

I hope I can travel around the world someday. I want to go to America to visit Washington Monument, be cause the president Washington is my idol. Of course, I want to go to London too, because England is where English language developed. If I can ride my bike in Cambridge university, I will be very happy.

I hope I can speak English with everyone in the world. I\‘ll introduce China to them, such as the Great Wall, the Forbidden City and Anshan.

I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hard study, one day I can speak English very well.

If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So I believe as I love English everyday , it will love me too.

Mr. Hi-Tech

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers...like a telephone... on his hand, then talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.

The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular."

The bartender says, "Yeah? Prove it."

The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender.
The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation.

"That's incredible", says the bartender, "I would never have believed it!7a686964616fe78988e69d83363"

"Yeah," said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room.

The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the guy spread-eagled against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt.

"Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?"

The guy turns to him and says: "No, I'm fine...I'm just waiting for a fax."

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  • 1.These Things Shall Never Die 这些美好不会消逝The pure.the bright,the beautiful, 一切纯洁的,辉煌的,美丽的,That stirred our hearts in youth, 强烈地震撼着我们年轻的心灵的,The
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