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Time【时间】
Lost time is never found again. This is something which I learned very clearly last semester. I spent so much time fooling around that my grades began to suffer. I finally realized that something had to be done. It was time for a change.
Now I have a new plan for using my time wisely. I have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour. This will give me a head start on the day. I have also decided to keep a log of what I do and when I do it. Looking back on what I’ve done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time.
时光一去不复返，这是我上学期清楚学到的教训。我浪费很多时间四处游荡，以致于我的成绩开始退步。最后我终于了解到我必须有所作为；该是痛改前非的时候了。
现在我有一个明智运e68a84e799bee5baa6e79fa5e98193365用时间的新方法。我已将闹钟早拨半小时，这将使我这一天的作息提前开始。我也决定将我所做的一切及做这些事的时间记录下来。回顾我所做的事情会启发我如何重新安排我的时间。
Work and Play【工作与娱乐】
Work and play do not contradict each other; in fact, they complement each other. As the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." A life burdened with work leads you nowhere, for you would get tired and bored with your daily routine work. On the other hand, proper recreation will relieve the tension and discomfort of our monotonous life because it offers you various ways to let out your pent-up emotions.
工作与娱乐并不互相冲突，事实上，它们之间的关系还相辅相成。有句格言说：「整日工作而没有休闲娱乐，会令人变得沉闷乏味。」被工作重担压得喘不过气来的生活，将使你一事无成，因为你将对一成不变的例行公事感到厌烦。由另一方面来说，适度的娱乐活动能提供各种管道，来渲泄你被压抑的情绪，减轻单调生活中的紧张与不悦。
My first Job【我的第一份工作】
My first job was at a cramming school. It was three years ago when I just graduated from junior high school and finished the entrance examination. since I had nothing to do that summer, I decided to find a job, tasting the joy of independence.
我的第一份工作是在一家补习班做事。那是三年前我刚从国中毕业，考完联考时的事了。既然我那整个夏天都闲着没事，倒不如找份差事，尝尝独立赚钱的快乐。
My Favorite Sports【我最喜爱的运动】
Sports help everyone to keep healthy, happy, and efficient. So I pay special attention to games, especially table-tennis. Table tennis is my favorite game. I play it almost every day.
Table-tennis is an ideal game us because it brings the whole body into action. It strengthens our muscles, expands our lungs, promotes the circulation of the blood, and causes a healthy action of the skin. Besides, it is very amusing and does not cost us much money. Table-tennis is very moderate; it is not so rough as football. It is an indoor game and can be played even on rainy days. Thus, it is my favorite kind of exercise.
运动能帮助每一个人保持健康、快乐和有效率。所以我特别重视运动，特别是桌球，桌球是我最喜欢的运动。我几乎每天玩。
桌球对我们而言，是一项理想的运动，因为它可以使我们全身运动，它可以增强我们的肌肉，扩张我们的肺部，促进血液循环，并且使肌肤产生健康作用，此外，它很有趣而且所费不多。桌球是相当温和适中的，它不像足球那么粗野。它是一种室内运动，甚至在下雨天也能玩。因此，桌球是我最喜爱的一种运动。
heavy shoolwork【课业繁重】
In my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is too heavy. While it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if they are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults. High should be allowed more time for play. Plying is not wasting time, as some think. It gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imagination. Which tends to be stifled by too much study. Finally, the pressure put on high school students by excessive schoolwork can cause serious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally. I do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork. I do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole.
我认为目前高中生的课业实在太重了，虽然说学生的确应当念书，但是要想长大成为健全的人，他门还需要一些其它的东西，所以应该给高中生较多从事娱乐的时间。娱乐并不如某些人所想的，是在浪费时间，它可以让学生锻炼身体，发挥被繁重课业扼杀的想象力。此外，繁重的课业加诸在高中生身上的压力可能引起严重的情绪紧张，这对身心都有害。我并非主张废除学校课业，但是我认为减轻目前繁重的课业对于学生和整个社会都是有益的。
1A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e78988e69d83330个卖糖果的。”
2Essay
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."
作文
老师给学生出了个作文题：“一场板球赛”。两分钟后，西蒙。斯蒂尔交了作文，老师允许他回家了。他在作文上写道：“下雨，比赛终止。”
3Who Discovered Australia?
Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.
Johnny: It's there, sir.
Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?
Sammy: Johnny, sir.
谁发现了澳大利亚?
老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。
约翰尼：先生，在这儿。
老师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?
萨默：先生，是约翰尼。
4Lightning
Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice?
Roy: Because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!
闪电
老师：为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方?
罗伊：因为它击中一个地方一次以后，那个地方就不存在了。
5The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候
老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?
马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
已解决问题 收藏 求英语幽默故事。 10 标签：幽默 故事,英语,幽默 英语英语。幽默幽默。故事故事。
然后要有点难度的阿~
不要太常见的欧~~
还有要带翻译。 . 回答:11 人气:11 解决时间:2009-04-11 13:14 检举 I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e59b9ee7ad94330里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”