一个著名的英语故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.

吉姆的历史考试

舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？
母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨7a686964616fe4b893e5b19e337，他们尽问一些这个
可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。

回答者： 可爱乖宁宁 - 四级 2010-3-9 21:17

Magic change

神奇变化

Gaga is a little duck. He is small, dirty and ugly. His friends don’t like to play with him.

One day, Gaga walked behind his friends quietly(静悄悄地).But his friends did not want him. Gaga was very sad and ran to the river and cried loudly(大声地)。

Just then, a big beautiful bird heard(听见)him crying and flew down(飞下来，落下来). She said, “Please don’t cry. Tell me, what do you want? I can help you.”

Gaga told the truth(真相). The beautiful bird said, “OK, I can help you to become a good-looking duck.” Then she took out a blanket and put it on the duck’s body. She said something which the little duck didn’t understand. Then she took away the blanket. There stood (站立)a good-looking duck.

Gaga was very happy. He thanked the big bird and quickly went to play with his friends

Story 1 Three Good Friends
One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends.

故事一 三个好朋友
一天， 一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。

Story 2 The Old Man and the Old Cat
An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can’t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away.
The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me because I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.”
故事二 老人和老猫
一个年迈的老人养一只猫。这只猫也非常老了。她跑得很快，但是牙齿很糟糕。一天王还是那个，这只老猫看见一只小老鼠。它抓住了小老鼠，但是它却吃不了它，因为它的牙齿不够锋利了。这只小老鼠逃跑了。
老人很生气，他打了小猫，并且对它说：“你这只蠢猫！我要惩罚你！7a64e78988e69d83339”猫非常伤心，它想：“在我还年轻的时候，我为你努力工作。现在你却因为我太老了不能工作而不喜欢我。你应该知道你也老了。”

Story 3 Spring in the Green Season
Spring is coming. Spring is the first season of the year. In China, spring comes in February. It is still cold, but it is getting warmer and warmer. The days get longer and longer. The leaves on the trees begin to turn green. Then they come up green leaves in the spring wind on the ground. Spring is also sowing time season.

故事三
春天来了，春天是每年的第一个季节。在中国，春天二月来临，那时候还是很冷，但是会运来月暖和，白昼悦来越长。树上的叶子开始变绿，沐浴着大地春风长出了嫩芽。
春天也播种的季节。

Story 4 Look for a Friend
Sam is a little fish. He lives in the sea. He is very lonely. He wants to have a friend. The friend looks like him. Sam sees an ink fish. The ink fish has eight legs. He doesn’t look like Sam. So Sam goes away. Sam meets a shark. He wants to say hello to the shark. The shark opens his big mouth. Sam runs away quickly. Sam is tired and hungry. He wants to have a rest. Then he sees a round fish. She says to him. “Hello! Would you like to be my friend?” Sam answers: “Of course! But you are sound. I am flat.” The round fish days: “But we are both fishes.”
Sam thinks and says, “You are right. Let’s be friends.” They become good friends.

故事四： 找朋友
塞姆是一条小鱼，他在海里。他生在海里。他很孤独，想要找一个朋友，那个朋友看起来要想他。 塞姆看见一条墨鱼。墨鱼有8条腿，看上去不像塞姆。因此塞姆游走了。塞姆遇见一条鲨鱼。他想跟鲨鱼问好。鲨鱼张开大嘴，塞姆有迅速地逃走了。
塞姆又累又饿，他要休息一会儿。这时他看见一条圆鱼，圆鱼对他说：“你好！你愿意做我的朋友吗？”
塞姆回答：“好哇！可你是圆形的，我是扁的。”圆鱼说：“但是我们俩都是鱼啊！”
塞姆思考后说：“你讲得对，让我们做朋友吧。”他们就成为好朋友了。
A Little Horse Crossing the River 小马过河
There are an old horse and a little horse on a farm. One day the old horse asks the little horse to send the wheat to the mill. The little horse is very happy. He carries the wheat and runs toward the mill. But there is a river in front of the little horse. He stops and does not know what to do next. Just then Aunt Cow is passing by.

The little horse asks, “Aunt Cow, please tell me. Can I cross the river ”

Aunt Cow answers, “It is not deep, you can cross it.”

When the little horse begins to cross the river, a little squirrel shouts at him, “Little horse, don't cross it, you will be drowned. Yesterday one of my friends was drowned in this river.”

The little horse is very afraid. Finally he decides to go home and ask his mother.

The old horse asks, “Why do you take the wheat back What's wrong with you My child.”

The little horse answers sadly, “There is a river in front of me. Aunt Cow said it was not deep. But the little squirrel said it was deep. What shall I do ”

The old horse says, “My child, you should try to cross the river by yourself. If you do not try, how do you know the river is deep or not ”

The little horse carries the wheat and returns to the riverside. At last, he succeeds in crossing the river. Now, He knows how deep the river is.

小马过河

农场里有一只老马和一只小马，一天老马叫小马把麦子送到磨房。小马很开心，扛起了小麦就跑向了磨房。可有一条河挡住了去路，他停了下来不知如何是好，正在这时，奶牛大婶过来了。

小马问：“奶牛大婶，请告诉我，我能趟过这条河吗？”

奶牛大婶答道：“不深，你能过去。”

正当小马开始过河时，一只小松鼠朝他大喊：“小马，不要过河，你会淹死的。昨天我的一位朋友就在这河淹死了。”

小马非常害怕，最后决定回家问问妈妈。

老马问：“你为什么又把小麦扛回来了？你怎么了？我的孩子。”

小松鼠委屈地回答：“有一条河挡住我的去路。奶牛大婶说它不深，可小松鼠说它深。我该听谁的呀？”

老马说：“孩子，你应该自己试试，如果不试，你怎么知道河的深浅？”

小马驮着小麦又回到了河边。最后，他成功地渡过了河。他终于知道河有多深了。

The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子

A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water
painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture,
she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed
against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken
her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by
one of the bystanders.

Zeal should not outrun discretion.

有只鸽子口渴得很难受，看见画板上画着一个水瓶，以为是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去，不料一头碰撞在画板上，折断了翅膀，摔在地上，被人轻易地捉住了。

这是说，有些人想急于得到所需的东西，一时冲动，草率从事，就会身遭不幸。

The Raven and the Swan乌鸦和天鹅

A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same
beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white
color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the
Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his
living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But
cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change
their color, while through want of food he perished.

Change of habit cannot alter Nature.

乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。

这故事是说，人的本性不会随着生活方式的改变而改变。

The Goat and the Goatherd 山羊与牧羊人

A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock.
He whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no
attention to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone,
and breaking its horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master.
The Goat replied, "Why, you silly fellow, the horn will speak
though I be silent."

Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid.

很多山羊被牧羊人赶到羊圈里。有一只山羊不知在吃什么好东西，单独落在后面。牧羊 人拿起一块石头扔了过去，正巧打断了山羊的一只角。牧羊人吓得请求山羊不要告诉主人， 山羊说：“即使我不说，又怎能隐瞒下去呢？我的角已断了，这是十分明显的事实。”

这故事说明，明显的罪状是无法隐瞒的。

The Miser守财奴

A MISER sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he
buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and
went to look at daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent
visits to the spot and decided to watch his movements. He soon
discovered the secret of the hidden treasure, and digging down,
came to the lump of gold, and stole it. The Miser, on his next
visit, found the hole empty and began to tear his hair and to
make loud lamentation

s. A neighbor, seeing him overcome with
grief and learning the cause, said, "Pray do not grieve so; but
go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the
gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same
service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did
not make the slightest use of it."

有个守财奴变卖了他所有的家产，换回了金块，并秘密地埋在一个地方。他每天走去看 看他的宝藏。有个在附近放羊的牧人留心观察，知道了真情，趁他走后，挖出金块拿走了。 守财奴再来时，发现洞中的金块没有了，便捶胸痛哭。有个人见他如此悲痛，问明原因后， 说道：“喂，朋友，别再难过了，那块金子虽是你买来的，但并不是你真正拥有的。去拿一 块石头来，代替金块放在洞里，只要你心里想着那是块e799bee5baa6e78988e69d83365金子，你就会很高兴。这样与你拥有 真正的金块效果没什么不同。依我之见，你拥有那金块时，也从没用过。”

这故事说明，一切财物如不使用等于没有。

The Picture of Dorian Gray

a young man named Dorian Gray, the subject of a painting by artist Basil Hallward. Basil is greatly impressed by Dorian's physical beauty and becomes strongly infatuated with him, believing that his beauty is responsible for a new mode in his art. Talking in Basil's garden, Dorian meets Lord Henry Wotton, a friend of Basil's, and becomes enthralled by Lord Henry's world view. Espousing a new kind of hedonism, Lord Henry suggests that the only thing worth pursuing in life is beauty, and the fulfilment of the senses. Realising that one day his beauty will fade, Dorian cries out, wishing that the portrait Basil has painted of him would age rather than himself. Dorian's wish is fulfilled, subsequently plunging him into a series of debauched acts. The portrait serves as a reminder of the effect each act has upon his soul, with each sin being displayed as a disfigurement of his form, or through a sign of aging. Finally, when Dorian saw his picture, he could not stand the ugliness the picture has revealed. He stabbed the picture, and also has killed the real Dorian Grey.

道林·格雷的画像(奥斯卡·王尔德)

天生漂亮异常的道林格雷因见了画家霍华德给他画的真人一样大的e799bee5baa6e79fa5e98193e59b9ee7ad94339肖像，发现了自己惊人的美，又听信了亨利爵士的吹嘘，开始为自己韶华易逝，美貌难久感到痛苦，表示希望那幅肖像能代替自己承担岁月和心灵的负担，而让自己永远保持青春貌美。他的这个想入非非的愿望后来却莫名其妙的实现了。他开始挥霍自己的罪恶，最后这幅肖像却成为了记录恶行的证据，他因肖像而生也因肖像而死。

个人很喜欢的一个很戏剧性的故事。