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1. Virtue
Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.
When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."
美 德
获取研究生学位多年以后,我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天,电梯里很拥挤,有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起,20年来电梯一直没有换过。
最后当电梯门打开时,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的,亲爱的,”她低声说道:“坚持不懈是一种美德。”
2. Difference
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
区 别
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来,”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’,本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”
3.Too Long
The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long."
太久
一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话,说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定,”她怯怯地坦白道:“您是否还健在。每次发现作者已经不在人世了,我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”
4.Charge for Bread and Butter
Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.
Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."
Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."
The $1.50 was returned without delay.
面包和黄7a64e59b9ee7ad94339油费
几年前,我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。帐单上来时,上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐,连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。但是第二天,他给餐馆寄了一封信,说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。
餐馆马上打来电话,问道:“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事?我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。”
爸爸答道,“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”
那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。
5. Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说:“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
Much Worse 那就更糟了
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察:有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?
男子:要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了
“好啊!”老板吼道,“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream!来
我叫喊,你叫喊,我们都喊着要冰淇淋!
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
彼得派特选了一配克源的腌青椒。
一撮泡菜彼德派柏捏zd起。
如果彼德派柏捏起一撮泡菜,
的泡菜在哪儿彼德派柏捏?
The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.
Zeal should not outrun discretion.
有只鸽子口渴得很难受,看见画板e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e4b893e5b19e339上画着一个水瓶,以为是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去,不料一头碰撞在画板上,折断了翅膀,摔在地上,被人轻易地捉住了。
这是说,有些人想急于得到所需的东西,一时冲动,草率从事,就会身遭不幸。
风和太阳(The Wind And The Sun)
One day the wind said to the sun, “Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can.”
“We will see about that,” said the sun. “I will let you try first.”
So the wind tried to make the man take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man only pulled his cloak more closely around himself.
“I give up,” said the wind at last. “I cannot get his cloak off.” Then the sun tried. He shone as hard as he could. The man soon became hot and took off his cloak.
(有一天风跟太阳说: “看看那个沿着路上走的人.我可以比你快让他把披风脱下来.)
(“我们等着看吧,”太阳说, “我让你先试.)
(因此风尝试让那个人把披风脱下来.他用力地吹,可是那个人把披风拉得更紧.)
(“我放弃了,”风最后说, “我无法让他把披风脱下来.”然后由太阳试试看.他尽可能地晒他.不久,那个人很热就把披风脱下来了.)
Little Robert
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents
more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Belling the cat
long ago,there was a big cat in the house.He caught many mice while they were stealing food.
One day the mice bad a meeting to talk about the way to deal with
their common enemy.Some said this,andsome said that.
At last a young mouse got up,and said that he had a good idea.
“We could tie a bell around the neck of the cat.Then when he comes near,we can hear the sound of the bell,and run away.”
Everyone approved of this proposal,but an old wise mouse got up and said,“That is all very well,but who will tie the bell to the cat?”The mice looked at each other,but nobody spoke.
给猫挂铃铛
很久以前,房子里有只大猫。他抓住了许多偷吃粮食的老鼠。一天,老鼠们开会讨论对付猫的办法。有的说这样,有有的说那样。最后一只小老鼠站起来,说他有一个好办法:我们给猫的脖子上拴一个铃当,当猫走近的时候,我们就可以听到铃声,就可以逃跑了。每个老鼠都同意这个建议,但是一只老老鼠站起来说:那谁去给猫戴上铃当呢?老鼠们你看我,我看你,没人出声了。