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There are fifty students in Class 1, Grade 8 at Yuying Middle School. Every day they go to school in different ways. Fifteen students take buses because they live far from the school. Ten students walk. They think walking is good for their health and they live near the school. Twenty-five students ride their bikes to school because they like riding bikes very much and their homes are not very far from the school. No one goes to school by car
母亲节不言感恩
(片断)妈妈生养我,是一种义务,是必需,是妈妈生存的价值,所以无所谓大恩大德——妈妈曾经这样对我说,我也这样认为.
但是,在母亲节那一天,我仍旧要买一束康乃馨送给妈妈,祝福妈妈安康快乐.这不是感恩,而是在传递亲情.我不感谢妈妈的恩情,但我珍重妈妈给予我的亲情;妈妈不期盼我的感恩,但妈妈期盼亲情的往来.传递亲情就是传递温暖.被亲情温暖的人心最柔软,所以妈妈手捧康乃馨眼含幸福的泪花,而我也被妈妈的感动而感动……
评价:我想,每一个同学都是有自己的思想的,因为 “每人一颗脑袋”.但是,现在有越来越多的同学不善于用自己的语文表达自己的思想,所以在作文中总是让自己思想努力贴近公共思维——面对母亲的爱,要感恩,而且必需要感恩,这就是公共思维.因此,一有“感恩”类的作文题目时,大家就纷纷表达“意志相同的公共声音”,作文的价值取向“千文一面”.这种让“公共思维”取代“个人思想”的作文主题构想方法,让许多同学的作文失去了思想的独特性,很难写出思想独到一面,脱颖而出的好作文.《母亲节不言感恩》这篇作文却将思想的角度“偏离”了公共思维的范围,大家都言“感恩”,“我”却独言“不感恩”.“我”将“恩情”视为“应该”,但“应该”之后要买一束鲜花献给妈妈,是传递亲情,用这样的笔调表达出来的“个性思想”,让人眼前一亮,新鲜合常理.作文时用自己的语言表达自己的思想,这是真作文——优秀作文的要素之一就是“求真”.
三、以“自我”的情感为中心写作文
例文:
汶川大地震之后,我布置同学们写一篇与这次灾难相关的作文.其中有一名同学交来了这样一篇刚足百字的作文——
哭过了之后是坚强
面对废墟下伸出的那只握着铅笔的小手,我不知如何控制自己的情绪——哭?不,我不哭,因为哭是懦弱.但,我还是哭了,悲悯的心让我泪水难抑,相信有更多的人在哭.哭过之后,我们会更加坚强,我要用我的手去拉那只不屈于灾难的坚强的小手……
评价:读到这篇表达自己情感的小作文,我被作者用自己的方式表达的情感深深地感染了.这种真实的情感表达,让作文透射出极强的感染力,我也哭了.我为这篇作文打了优秀——按照一般的作文要求,虽然它完全算不上优秀.我之所以给这篇作文打优秀,是因为这篇作文有“言为心声”的品质.有的同学在作文中,写别人的“苦”,写别人的“愁”,写别人的“坚强”e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e59b9ee7ad94365,写别人的“不幸”,却将自己置身于事外,让自己的身份成为“看客”.这篇短文的作者将自己定位于“情感中心”,以简单的文字表达自己真实的情感:悲悯与坚强都在其中,让我们看到的不仅仅是废墟,而是废墟之上悲而不屈的精神.作文能力是一种表达情感的能力,而表达情感的能力是生来俱有的,所以你的作文能力天生就有——只不过,你有时忽视了对这种天然能力的把握和挖掘.请以“自己的情感”的为中心写作文吧,这样在作文时就有“文随心动”的畅意感觉.
I have a good friend.His name is *** .He is a very handsome boy.He likes doing sports,especially playing basketball,so he is tall and healthy. He is not only handsome but also kindhearted.He always helps others who needs help. For example,one day we saw an old lied down the street many people around him."He must be ill.Let's send him to the hospital.OK?""You may get trouble.I will never help him.""But if we don't help him,he may die."So he sent him to the hospital. In total he is a good boy. I wish we can to be friends forver.
I have a good friend. She is a pretty girl. She lives in Jiujiang. She is a middle school student. She has big eyes, a small mouth, a small nose and a round face. She is tall and thin. She likes watching TV and playing the basketball. On the weekend, she always plays basketball with her friends in the afternoon and watches TV in the evening.
She is a good student. She is good at English. She likes speaking in English. She always reports news in English in her school.
She says we are good friends. We often send e-mails to each other everyday. I like her very much.