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6-6.5分。
如果你这篇作文是在40分钟之内完成、没有看过任何Idea方面的提示、没有老师的指导,并且没查单词没修改的情况下完成的。7a686964616fe4b893e5b19e333那么你的考场作文,只要审题准确,不会低于6分的。
你这篇作文的前三句话都是短句,这种情况应该避免,考官曾经给出过这样的评语“ the many short, simple sentences tend to limit the range”(剑8 P166),这说明过多的短句会限制文章的得分。此外,文章的最后“by contrast, this information on media is typically negative news for parents to teach their children waht is wrong and how to protect themselves”有点难以理解。By contrast 的意思是相比之下,对比之下,有轻微转折的意思。用了这个词之后,需要表达与上文相对或相反的观点。用在这里不太合适。
还有,你的结尾怎么不完整呢,是不是没有发上来?
如果结尾偏差不是太大,并且字数够了的话,6.5分应该有的。如果遇到苛刻的考官,给6分也是有可能的。不过恕我直言,看你这篇作文的水平,在考场上拿7几乎是不可能的。
读下来感觉语法和时态问题有点多,说不完,zd建议多读多看加强回语法结构。其他,个别地方重复用词,比如答illustrate,可以换成indicate/describe/show等,from to可适当换成between and.
我觉得5.5到6分之间吧。整体框架,论述和语法没有大的问题,措词也没有单调,算是一篇还不错的文章,百只是有的小细节,如单三和长些的定语从句前后可度能主语不一致和指代不明,这些是你写完后要细心检查的。还有,写作和口语是我们中国版考生的普遍弱项,前者是因为思维方式的差异,我们以为写的不错的文章往往得分不高,建议你可以多看看考官写权的例文(有的复习材料中就有),从中获取些思路。最后祝你考试顺利啊~
第一次就写得这么好,那等提高后直接可以拿7分!7a64e4b893e5b19e333
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From the chart given we can get[obtain] the percentage change in average huose[house] prices in five different cities between[from] 1990 to 2002 compared with <the average house prices> [those] in 1989.
Firstly(,) between[from] 1990 to 1995 the house prices in New York were decreased (by) 5% compared with (those in) 1989.The prices of both Tokyo and London were decreased by about 7.5%.However the prices of Madrid and Frankfurt were increased by 2.5%.
Secondly(,) between[from] 1996 to 2002 most of (the) cities’ house prices were increased.The most outstanding was London.It’s[Its] house price was increased by 12.5% compared with (that in)1989.<As for my considiration> [In my opinion,] it is because (of) the development of London this years[到底是单数,还是复数呢?自己看图表决定。] and the changing of environment there.At the same time the price(s) of New York(,) Madrid and Frankfurt (were) also increased by about 5% (,)4.5% and 2.5%.However(,) the house price in Tokyo was still decreased by 5% compared with (that in)1989.
<Standing in my shoes> [From my perspective,] the house price of most cities will (be) increase(d) much with the development of our economic [economy].
Don't hesitate to ask if you have further doubts.
Best wishes!